I've Created A Monster

Men and their toys.

It all started when I decided that I needed to lower costs where I could. That means looking at things that are NOT necessities, like the cable bill. Since I do not watch much TV and could really live without the TV I do watch and since my favorite, The Home and Garden Channel has become The House Hunting Channel, frankly, I could do with out it. My husband however, fearful that he would lose the only link he has to the outside world convinced me that we either needed some kind of cable or satellite feed or we would have to incur the cost (and the eyesore) of a giant antennae on the roof of my cute little cottage, which would be subject to the elements and cost us in maintenance and reception just when we wanted it the most.

Once convinced of that, I started shopping. Dish Network and Direct TV were offering some nice little bargains but they were only bargains for a year. Armed with that knowledge, I decided to base my decision on what their regular price would be, not their introductory price. It would indeed save money and we would get a DVR and all digital channels, but there would be a sacrifice in channels Mike liked to watch.

“Tough” I said (thinking…my heart would just bleed if you had to watch less TV). The idea here is to save money, not have more TV to watch.

I called my cable company and told them of my intentions to take my business elsewhere. Inside of 5 minutes, they had reduced my cable bill by $30, gave me 100 more channels, a digital box for the 2 extra TVs and a free DVR….SWEET!!!!

They installed yesterday and I haven’t had any peace since.

My husband is usually very quiet and that’s the way I like him. He’s probably quiet because he has nothing happening in his little world to talk about. That has all changed with the introduction of new electronic toys and 100 more channels to watch and…..be still my heart…..a new set of remote controls to play with.

Last night he prattled on non stop about the new features he found and the new buttons to push, the new shows to watch and the things the installation tech taught him….it was non-stop blather and continued on non-stop even after I had gone to bed. When I was in bed, I’d hear, “Paula, you still awake”….then whether I answered him or not, he would go on about yet another new discovery in his button pushing journey into new electronic toy land. He finally went to bed around 3PM and we got some rest.

Now, my mornings are mine and mine alone. He rarely gets up in the morning, even to pee and I am left in my quiet little space where I can pretend he doesn’t exist. In the off chance he should need to use the washroom while I am getting ready for work, he does so silently and if I don’t look at him, I can still pretend he doesn’t exist.

This morning I was in the shower when he came into the bathroom. Because there is a curtain, I can ignore him….then I heard.

“Paula?”

“Yeah?”

“You should see all the stuff I recorded on the DVR last night, there was…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………”

And it went on and on and on.

I was glad to HAVE to come to work this morning. Perhaps I’ll start spending evenings at the Library.