I don't know if it's the nice weather doing that "mellow yellow thing" in my head that makes me not want to be at work. I don't know if it's the burn out I am feeling due to working too many hours at what I consider to be a dull and dreary occupation. Perhaps it is the boldness in which Nanoman feels he has the right to control my life by making it so I think about work even when I'm off...even when I'm trying to sleep, then puts the additional burden on me of insisting I be at work 15 minutes early each day so he can go over things with me before the phones explode (something he has yet to do, even though I am arriving early at his behest).
I don't know what it is but I am itching to not have to work there anymore. That itch is especially strong lately. The truth is, it's not just Nanoland though....I literally don't want to do droll, mundane office work for a mentally disturbed control freak anymore (and all business men are mentally disturbed to some degree, I'm convinced of that.)
I saw a quotation from a wise human being, whose name I can not remember....though I've always remembered the jist of the quote.
I am paraphrasing but it went something like: "When the pain of your existence becomes to great to bear, then you will change".
Rather than bitch, I hope this painful feeling of not wanting to continue on in this form, making a living in this manner will be the pain of change.
Not all pain is bad. Pain can be used as a catalyst for good. Please God, don't let me let this pain go to waste.
5 hours ago